Want to Live a Mediocre Life?

Want to Live a Mediocre Life? “Whoever covers an offense seeks love; but he who repeats a matter separates close friends” – Proverbs 17:9. Chris Fabry, who is probably best known for a weekday afternoon radio broadcast, wrote a book a few years ago. Fabry’s book is a satire, taking its cue from the best – seller by the late Stephen R. Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Fabry’s book is entitled, The 77 Habits of Highly Ineffective Christians (Inter Varsity Press, 1997). One of Chris Fabry’s points is that if you really want to live a mediocre life, follow Habit #72 – Hold Grudges. Ever held a grudge? If so, you have followed a predictable pattern. First, you convince yourself that anger is deserved over some perceived injustice perpetrated against you. This is the “mull” stage. Then you move from mulling over this deserved anger into thoughts of revenge. “Boy, would I like to do this terrible thing to that person” is the way you think. But because you know there would be negative consequences for such behavior, like a jail term for example, you simply hold on to the thought of revenge. By holding on to this thought, you “hold a grudge.” Chris Fabry is right, of course. Holding a grudge is a guarantee that you will live a mediocre life. This is because you will spend so much time thinking about how to “get even” (whatever that means). Consequently, you will not spend time in creative and productive thinking. It is creative and productive thinking, combined with action, that leads to excellence in life. Proverbs 17 teaches an important fact about relationships: we need to be forgiving toward others and discreet in our speech. A real friend values the other person so much that he or she willingly refuses to nurture anger by “covering a personal offense”. This may take grace, but you have to decide whether the friendship, marriage or relationship is worth saving. The amazing thing about Jesus Christ is that He valued friendships and even told His disciples, “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5:39). An authentic Christ-follower does not permit himself to be a punching bag or a target for verbal abuse, but is willing to be wronged, especially when no malice is involved. This is active forgiveness – not just words, but conduct. This proverb also gives advice on a sure way to terminate a friendship: remember an offense, relive it and discuss it often with third parties. Forgiveness means not discussing it repeatedly and attempting to put another person in a bad light. This is the behavior God intends for us. He wants us to have lives of excellence. Want to live a mediocre life? Hold a grudge.