The Pastor’s Pen By Rev. Joel Cochran The Chapel in Marlboro Your Kids Matter The words “marriage” and “family” are being redefined for us. I think it is unfortunate and confusing, especially for children. You may be expecting a column on sexual propriety. But this is about the kids. Propaganda, angry rhetoric and passion preferences aside, serious studies indicate that children raised by a man and a woman in a monogamous relationship called “marriage” benefit. Being raised in a home with both a mom and a dad is healthy. I refer you to a booklet published by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. It is entitled The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children and is one in the Child Abuse and Neglect User Manual Series. The redefining of marriage and family is part of a radical agenda to change America. So let’s be frank: the original push for homosexual rights was about stopping discrimination and persecution, which are worthy of any person’s support. But now the agenda seems to be about abolishing the traditional understanding of marriage and family, and I think the unintended consequences will have a harmful effect upon society and children especially. The present agenda is opening the door to fatherless and motherless homes, because the homes are those of same-sex married couples. Some of these homes will seek to adopt children. With the terms marriage and family redefined, adoptions will occur with small children placed into homes with either two fathers or two mothers. They will be denied the benefit of having both a male and female parent. In 2008, then Senator Barack Obama (yes, the same one who is today President) gave a Father’s Day speech in which he said, “We know the statistics – that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of schools and twenty times more likely to end up in prison. They are more likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from home, or become teenage parents themselves. And the foundations of our community are weaker because of it.” Look, there is a point I am making: children benefit most from living in a home with a man and woman who are married. It is time to consider what is best for children, especially those hoping for adoption. Is the political agenda for children weak because they are too young to vote? Just as someone needs to speak for the unborn baby in the womb, who would cry out if she could, “Hey! Don’t abort me. I am not an inconvenience. I am your child! At 20 weeks old I feel pain!” So omeone needs to speak for the child waiting to be adopted, “Hey! Please put me in a home where I can have a good mom and a good dad, and understand what those terms mean.” This is also an appeal to traditional couples who have a child or children. Be committed to each other. Be a good dad. Be a good mom. Let your child see what it means to be male or female, and how the sexes are to interact in love and respect. The value of moms and dads living together in marriage is immeasurable in the lives of children. The statistics back this up. Common experience backs it up. Traditional marriage and family provide a strong social structure. The one man-one woman with children concept stands as the Biblical model for marriage and family. This Judeo-Christian marriage ethic is unsurpassed in providing a positive, instructive environment for raising children. This is how we are to properly understand the terms “marriage” and “family.” It was Barack Obama who emphasized that kids need dads in their lives. They also need moms. They need to learn to relate to both sexes. Be a good mom. Be a good dad. Have a committed marriage. Build a home where love and mutual respect prevails, and where God is honored. Your kids deserve it because… your kids matter.