I Am Praying for Her


“I don’t like her.”

It could just as easily been written, “I don’t like him.” Either way, it is something to consider.

Life is filled with episodes where misunderstanding occurs. Someone may disagree in an unpleasant manner. We enter into a business arrangement with another person and then that person violates his or her word. We may be the object of another person’s gossip, and genuinely find the situation puzzling – and maddening. Consequently, we conclude “I don’t like her.”

Jesus said, “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). Are there any practices we can incorporate to help us deal with a person we don’t like? Yes, there are a few.

It is important to understand one huge truth: you may not ever be able to change another person, but you can change yourself. Your attitude about a person you don’t like must change if you are to have peace of mind and maintain a sound relationship with God. Think about ways to change yourself, rather than ways to change the other person.

Seek contact. Remember that the other person is just that – a person. Most of us avoid a person we don’t like, and so that person becomes a monster in our minds. Don’t allow the person you don’t like to become a monster in your thinking. The more you are exposed to a person, the more you see the humanness of that person – warts and all.

Do something nice for the person. Is this difficult? Then send a card. Just purchase one with a prayerful message and sign your name. Nothing more. By doing good to another, the barrier of animosity starts breaking down. This is important for your own well being – you need to do this for yourself, if not for the other person.

Look for humor. Joke about whatever annoys you, and if you are able to poke fun at your own reaction, do it. Nothing neutralizes bad feelings like a good laugh. In many situations you have two choices: either to become angry or to laugh. Choose laughter.

Act friendly. We do not usually act the way we feel. We feel the way we act. Do good things and you feel good. Act the way you want to feel. Feelings always follow actions.

Resist criticism. Otherwise, the criticism will put you in a position from which it will be difficult to extricate yourself later. You probably do not know everything and later information could change your thinking about the person you don’t presently like.

Remember happy shared experiences. Recall the good times. Emphasize this in your thinking.

Cultivate a grateful heart. Remember all for which you should be grateful. Develop a thankful heart, and every time an annoying or maddening thought crosses your mind, erase it with a thought of gratitude.

To maintain your spiritual equilibrium, learn to change your thinking from “I don’t like her” to…

“I am praying for her.”